As I write this the world is this crazy brink where everyone is consumed with the idea that they themselves know all the answers in this world. Especially in Fandom, conventions this only gets worse for most people. The lines of who to consider your friends and which you don’t get more hazy. So this article is to help others and myself articulate the problems most people around my age or at any age to tell others know your not alone. Your not the crazy one here its just people have become afraid of admitting they don’t know the answers.
1 Polarizing Nature of the World
Somewhere between the Occupy Movement to GamerGate. Fandom and people in general have been polarized and just got to the point where they will not accept other opinions and viewpoints. This also happens from Social Groups, to conventions to the workplace. It can hard to create balance in our own lives. Whether its overly empathy or being consumed with frustration and anger. From Trump and Brexit to The New Liberal Left to Feminism we like to play the Black and white narrative viewpoint. It can be worrying when you see your friends becoming addicted to this over the top hatred of the other side without understanding each other.
I know its frustrating but sometimes we need to stay moderate on issues because if we continue to lead down this path we will become so disconnected and become jaded by our own beliefs,interests and activism.
2. Finding our own place with our own personality
This is a hard one for everyone. A lot of people like to latch on to some sense of identity. “I am Feminist, I’m Poly or Pan whatever as a label to create a sense of community. This is very evident at conventions nowadays where people come to lose themselves for a weekend at a time in a false identity or recreating their high school days of trying to be popular or accepted. As we get older some of us become comfortable becoming different versions of ourselves. Others not so much especially when you yourself have gone through many drastic changes over time to adapt to the Real world. There’s the real you , the you portray to your friends, the one where you try to attract a partner or the business version of yourself.
It can be hard at times to juggle these roles. Measuring confidence and cocky. Balancing the true self with the the identity you want to promote or attract.
Its all a experiment really. While you find a balance with some personas such as our workplace persona or our convention persona.
As we get older we our social circles begin to smaller and smaller. Some of our friends we made in high school start to change sometimes for the better but other times for the worse. Some can be overly obsessed with interests and regress back to teenagers not . At times we can find it difficult to make new social circles as we get older. You can and most likely go through all sorts of online advice sites trying to help you try to make new friends and social groups. Finding the answers to
this is hard work and mostly frustrating.
I still struggle with this. Being a geek from 2 separate cultures . I struggle to balance my own personas with a constant feeling of disconnection. I am on the Spectrum and constantly feel like I have hit a brick wall on my own personal development. I have thought a good few times that maybe the things I enjoy are the things holding me back . Anime, videogames,tabletop rpgs,horror movies. In the end though I have figured out one thing.
Life doesn’t matter if you give up any of this.
All you can is struggle to strive forward. Really focus first on things that help you become independent as individual. Employment and personal mental health. Then you can have the funds to fuel your interests and get you out there.
4. Real World
From personal health issues , funds, trying to find employment to finding love
These can weigh you down and create a internal pressure.
This is a big one I try to balance my life as best as I can really. I know at times I will project a optimistic objective non-biased viewpoints and listen to both sides of a conversation on many topics some many of you agree with others not so much.
But with the external pressures in the world and my own needs to find new social groups , grow as a adult and as a person and find a partner myself.
I tend to have meltdowns occasionally, Moment of releasing the pressures of the outside world despite how much I change, evolve I know the fears of Statistics especially people like me . Numbers created way before topics of Nationalism, Social Justice became household terms. I know women have to deal with unnecessary standards of beauty, rape culture and dealing with either overzealous friends or pua tactics and men have have to deal with the same things but be constantly have to protect the way we think or act.
The only I can really say is you are not alone. This writer also feels constantly frustrated with dealing losing chances to make friends or partners because of my disconnect or scumbags puas , or simply overly polarized people to make yourself feel alone.